


Direwolf

by HorizonTheTransient



Category: Parahumans Series - Wildbow
Genre: Gen, Puns & Word Play, Werewolf, Wolves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-08
Updated: 2020-02-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:36:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22621900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HorizonTheTransient/pseuds/HorizonTheTransient
Summary: Direwolf is a new Ward, with the extremely underwhelming power of being able to turn into a wolf.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 64





	Direwolf

"Oh my god you guys get  _ patrol dogs _ now?!" Glory Girl said, hands over her mouth in a feeble attempt to stop herself from squealing too loudly. "Can... can I  _ pet _ her?" The dog's tail started thumping against the sidewalk, and she took that as assent, immediately flitting over and vigorously scritching behind the ears, reveling in the thick fur. Unusually thick for a dog, in fact; the fur around its neck seemed to form almost something of a mane. "Ooooooh, who's a good girl?  _ Who's a good girl?! _ "

The dog began panting, gently swaying from side to side, her eyes closing and tail wagging. Glory Girl made some more incoherent cooing noises, wrapping her arms around the dog's body and burying her face in the depths of her thick mane.

"You know, you  _ probably _ should've waited for one of us to answer you," Clockblocker said.

"...Why's that?" she asked, turning her head just barely enough to avoid a mouthful of dog hair.

"You're cuddling with a parahuman named Direwolf, whose power is... well, turning into a dire wolf," Gallant explained.

Her heart sank and her eyes widened, and for a brief moment, all was silent.

"Um. Sorry about that," Glory Girl said hastily, letting go of Direwolf and standing back up. "I'm Glory Girl, nice to meet you." Unthinkingly, she extended a hand to shake.

Before she could withdraw it, Direwolf sat down, lifting and depositing one of her forepaws in Glory Girl's hand. The two shook hands, with Glory Girl visibly feeling ridiculous and Direwolf betraying no emotion whatsoever.

"Don't worry about it," Gallant said. "Direwolf is very... affectionate. I assure you, if you were doing  _ anything _ she wasn't one hundred percent on board with, she'd let everyone nearby know."

"Like that time Assault tried to pet her, and she ended up chasing him up the flagpole out front," Clockblocker added.

"So wait, hang on," Glory Girl said, politely ignoring the dire wolf whining at her feet, begging for more attention. "She  _ wanted _ me to pet her?"

"Probably, yes," Gallant said. "She doesn't talk much, in wolf form. Thinks it ruins her chances of getting headpats and belly rubs."

"Wait, you can  _ talk? _ " Glory Girl looked down at Direwolf, who exhaled loudly. "Oh don't give me  _ that _ , you furry little  _ charlatan _ ."

"Hello, Glory Girl," Direwolf said, her voice deep and rumbling, sounding like a wolf if a wolf was, somehow, able to speak English, and had all the necessary vocal structures. So, altogether, not actually very much like a wolf, save for a somewhat growling quality to her voice. "My name is Direwolf, it's nice to meet you too. Would you please go back to scratching me behind the ears?"

"...Fine, but only because you asked nicely."

* * *

"I can't believe you're  _ carrying _ her," Clockblocker muttered.

"She's  _ tired _ ," Glory Girl protested, holding Direwolf in a fireman's carry that made it look like she was a cape. The article of clothing, not the category of human. "It's her first patrol, right? Besides, humans are persistence predators. We've got more stamina than pretty much any other animal on Earth."

"While that  _ is _ true, I feel the need to point out that wolves are  _ also _ persistence predators," Gallant said. "Direwolf is just a petulant brat."

"Oh, I'm sorry, I wasn't aware this was actually  _ your _ superpower, and you were intimately familiar with how it worked," Direwolf said. "Did you know I could turn into a puppy, too? No, I bet you  _ didn't _ know. Shut up."

"Wait, you  _ can? _ " Gallant asked. "Why didn't you mention it?"

"Because it's a useless ability?" Direwolf said. "Oh no, look out everybody, Direwolf has transformed from one of the greatest predators to walk the earth into a fucking  _ puppy. _ Cute, but not exactly  _ intimidating. _ "

"That's because you apparently have no imagination at all," Glory Girl said. "What else can you turn into?"

"A human, or a dire wolf," Direwolf said. "In wolf form, the only real variance is I can get smaller... or bigger."

"Right, right. Well, I have an idea, if you're willing to try something."

* * *

"Ah ah ah, not so fast," Tattletale said. "Don't want your sister losing her head, do you?"

"Hm. Well. I suppose I don't," Glory Girl muttered. Things had gone pretty far south. "Excuse me for one moment." She grabbed her purse slowly, and opened it up, to reveal its contents:

A brown-furred puppy that looked  _ very _ sleepy.

"Oh, that's  _ cute _ ," Tattletale said, her tone of voice leaving it unclear whether or not she was being sarcastic. "Didn't know you were the purse dog kinda girl, but I gotta say, it fits pretty well."

"C'mon, Direwolf, go," Glory Girl said, while the puppy yawned. Tattletale started snickering. "Hey, c'mon. You're making me look bad, here."

Tattletale burst out laughing, and Amy rolled her eyes. "Now isn't really the  _ time _ , sis," Amy said, glancing down at the knife against her throat.

"Hang on, hang on," Glory Girl muttered, pulling the puppy she'd called 'Direwolf' out of her purse and setting it on the floor. "Go on, girl. Go get Tattletale. Go get her."

"Yeah, I'm really pissing myself over here," Tattletale said as the puppy started barking at her, her eyes wet with mirth. "This is  _ pathetic _ ."

Suddenly, the puppy wasn't a puppy anymore, and was instead a fully-grown wolf that was, not incidentally, larger and heavier than Tattletale herself was. In an instant, she was pinned to the floor, a set of jaws replete with razor-sharp teeth pressed insistently against both sides of her throat. The wolf's deep, rumbling growl resonated with something in her, and rattled her bones.

"Yeah, you sure are," Glory Girl said, grinning. "So, bug girl. Let go of my sister, and I'll  _ consider _ calling off my wolf."

"...shit."

* * *

"Direwolf, we have to debrief you."

Direwolf whined wordlessly.

" _ Direwolf _ , come  _ on _ ."

More whining.

"I know, you're getting scratched behind your ears, but  _ come on _ . You know she's a supervillain, right?"

"Fuck off," Bitch said, both hands buried up to her wrists in Direwolf's thick neck fur. "She's busy."

"...I don't wanna do this," Gallant muttered, reaching into a pocket-like compartment in his armor. "But it seems I have no choice." He pulled out a handful of dog treats, and Direwolf instantly perked up. "C'mon, girl. Come get 'em. C'mon."

Direwolf reluctantly got up, stretching, and sauntered away from Bitch, following Gallant as he led her out of the room. The door closed, leaving the Undersiders alone in their holding cell.

"So, anyone mind telling me how, exactly, we lost this fight to a fucking  _ dog? _ " Grue asked. "Bitch, your whole  _ thing _ is dogs. How'd this slip by you?"

"Not a dog," Bitch said. "That's a wolf."

"...Shit, really?"

"Too big to be a dog."

"Yeah, c'mon Grue, get it together," Regent said. " _ Obviously _ -"

"Hey Regent?"

"Yeah?"

"Shut the fuck up."

"How're you holding up?" Taylor asked, glancing over at Tattletale, who looked more rattled than an antique maraca.

"I think I'm afraid of dogs now," Tattletale admitted, shakily.

"To be fair," Regent said, "the situation was apparently very..."

"Don't say it," Tattletale warned.

"If you say it, I'll kill you in your sleep," Grue said.

Regent pulled out a pair of sunglasses, putting them on over his mask.

"... _ Dire _ ," he said.


End file.
